Being anti-porn in today’s liberalized society can feel challenging. Expressing a moral stance on pornography is sometimes perceived as puritanical. Some people may not recognize the influences and messaging present in today’s patriarchal landscape.
Did you know that Hugh Hefner helped make pornography mainstream? When he published the first Playboy issue in 1953 with Marilyn Monroe, it brought porn into the public eye. Monroe was paid just $50 for her photos, which would be about $600 today. The photos were only meant for the 1952 Golden Dreams Nude Calendar. She never agreed to appear in the magazine, and the pictures were published without her consent. In her memoir 'Marilyn: Her Life in her Own Words', "[she] never even received a thank-you from all those who made millions off a nude Marilyn photograph. [She] even had to buy a copy of the magazine to see [herself] in it." The original photos were taken in 1949, four years before Playboy even existed.
Real revenge porn is still rampant. In fact, Pornhub was involved in a lawsuit from 2019 - 2020 for allowing sex trafficking content on its website. Many victims were trafficked through the now non-existent website "GirlsDoPorn", which led to six people being charged with sex trafficking. Since then, Pornhub requires its creators to be verified to post content. But Pornhub is not the only porn site on the internet. In 2022, it was estimated that there were over 10,000 terabytes of porn online. The average gaming laptop has one terabyte of storage. To put it simply, one terabyte is equivalent to a warehouse filled with 10,000 gaming laptops, each containing porn.
Sex workers often do not turn to sex work for enjoyment. It is frequently a matter of necessity. It is possible to support sex workers while being critical of the systemic factors that contribute to sex work. Many view those involved as affected by societal expectations. Society creates an environment where porn consumption is normalized. Women may feel incentivized by financial pressure and may believe participation is a personal choice, but there are underlying societal forces at play. Pornography primarily has a male audience, contributing to the demand that perpetuates the industry. While many women feel they are making independent choices, for some, it may feel like a last resort.
Teenagers who watch porn without first having a sexual experience develop a warped perspective of intimacy. Men are taught early on that certain parts of a woman are to be preferred, while others are considered “disgusting.” This is a widely discussed subject which does not need extensive explanation from me, I mean, if you use the internet, you would know. Porn also glorifies violence and abuse. Many videos depict women being beaten, strangled, degraded, or perpetually raped, excused by the fact that there are consenting actors behind the screen. The "proliferation of pornography and resulting ‘porn culture’" (Sarah Benson) causes men to feel like they are in a position to demand sexual actions from women and young girls, which makes it increasingly difficult for them to understand that none of it is normal.
This not only affects men, but women as well. We are taught to accept this behaviour from someone we are meant to trust with our most intimate and vulnerable moments. Speaking from experience, I thought it was normal for my vagina to be dry, or as men like to put it, “tight.” I did not understand that it was because I was not aroused, which is why foreplay is so important. Pornography does not show foreplay. It rushes to orgasms and intense scenes between couples who, by the way, often rely on lube instead of natural lubrication from the body. This is not to say that using lube is wrong. Some women and men do rely on it, especially for anal intercourse, which does not naturally produce moisture.
For an industry that claims to promote openness about sex, it perpetuates harmful stereotypes. It fetishizes lesbians, gay men, trans individuals, and racial minorities. Men often do not see lesbians as regular people, but as objects to observe perversely. Black women have their own category as well. Women are not allowed to be seen as human beings. This is especially dangerous in an age where simply existing as a woman already puts you at risk.
Porn systematizes sexual depravity and exploitation. Women will never be completely free in the eyes of men while porn still exists. Consuming porn makes you part of the problem, even if you think you are well-meaning. There are better alternatives. You could find a romantic partner, though this leads to another issue. Watching porn while in an established relationship is cheating. It may not be physical cheating, but it is emotional cheating. You are viewing someone who is not your partner sexually, when that should remain between you and your lover(s).
This is difficult to come to terms with, but it interferes with how you see your partner. What is shown on screen may not be possible in your relationship, and it creates unrealistic expectations for both parties. Your partner may secretly feel like they are not enough. I believe that if you truly loved your person, you would not need someone else to fulfill your sexual gratification.
Beating an addiction is not impossible. I speak from experience. By limiting the amount of content you consume and by learning to see women as human beings rather than objects to be sexualized, you can develop a healthier mindset. That mindset is crucial for a respectful, sexual relationship.